I’ve had a range of emotions for what’s coming up – scared and nervous, with an upset tummy for nearly a week. Then the calmness came. And that remains.
I don’t know in any detail what will happen, that’s good for someone like me who likes to be in control, at all times.
If you remember from this blog post – I talked about the 3 stages.
The first stage started once I said yes. I wrote a letter of intention and created a 10-page autobiography. I like writing and that flowed well, interestingly filling the 10 pages with little effort.
Through my re-read I noticed what I didn’t include, or downplayed, and I’m sure that will be one of the things we talk about.
I know some of what happens over the first few days. We get prepared, we each talk with David, we find the place we will go to for our vision fast.
But it is good for me not to know. To be more open to what will happen.
I’ll switch my phone off on arrival and leave it in the car. No intention of switching it on till I start my journey home, 10 days later.
The place I’m going to is in rural Herefordshire, a private 5,000 acre estate.
MY LETTER OF INTENT
I need to stop the endless chatter in my head, the swirl of ideas and have some time to let go. I want to free my mind so that my next direction becomes clear – it could be personally, professionally or both, as both sides work together. I want time to stop so that I see more. That I be more. To help me become more of who I am, stepping aside from expectations – clients, family, society.
I want to live life with intention. I want to be clear on where I’m heading. For too long I have filled my life with ‘doing’ and little chance just to be. This vision quest will allow me to take stock of where I have come from – to seek forgiveness and to forgive and have a clearer direction on where I go next.
I want to be more of me, to welcome and use the gifts I have. I think this is to work with people aged 50+ to help them transition into a new phase to be elders or crones.
I want to get closer to me – isn’t what I’ve been looking for already inside me, but I have never given myself time to listen. Filling my head with noise and chatter. I’m ready to hear now – this is the right time for me. I want a time to stop and reflect and create a new beginning. Also, to reflect on death – I am over 60 now. I don’t think that I’m scared of death – I’m more scared of a life unlived.