Reflections from a career psychologist in later life
Listening to What Lies Beneath
I’ve been thinking recently about the links between work, class, and identity, especially for men. Not because it’s my main area of expertise, but because in over three decades of career coaching, I’ve seen the quiet impact of industrial and economic change show up in my clients’ lives. Not just in their CVs or career plans, but in their sense of self.
When the Work Disappears
I’ve coached men who once took great pride in physical or skilled manual work: trades, engineering, logistics, even mining, but who now struggle to see how their strengths translate into today’s job market. Others, in their 50s or 60s, carry a kind of quiet shame about “just” being a labourer or never having moved up the ladder. These aren’t things they say out loud at first. But they emerge, gently, when we talk about confidence, purpose, or what comes next.
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The Hidden Cost of Being Stoic
I’m not a masculinity scholar. But I listen. And what I hear, again and again, is that men of a certain generation were taught that being a man meant providing, being competent, staying stoic. Work was never just a way to earn a living. It was how they knew they mattered. And when that work disappears, through redundancy, injury, early retirement, or economic shifts beyond their control, what’s shaken isn’t just their income. It’s their identity.
The Gender Gap in Reinvention
Women, too, have complex transitions in later life. But culturally, there’s been more room to explore identity beyond paid work, to focus on relationships, caregiving, creativity, and reinvention. Many men I’ve known or worked with were never given those tools or that permission. Their identity was fused with what they did. And when what they did no longer seems valued, something aches underneath.
Class, Decline, and Silence
I’m also aware of how deindustrialisation hit working-class men particularly hard. Not only was their type of work replaced or outsourced, but the accompanying sense of status, skill, and belonging was stripped away too. Some managed to adapt. Many didn’t. And we haven’t really talked about it.
Filling the Void: The Rise of the Manosphere
Instead, some of that pain gets channelled elsewhere. Researchers have noted the rise of the “manosphere”, online spaces that prey on young men’s fears of invisibility, social decline, or being “left behind”. They offer hyper-individualistic, sometimes misogynistic answers that fill a vacuum. If men don’t have alternative narratives , of care, contribution, vulnerability, and redefined strength, these can become dangerously attractive.
A New Way Forward
But I believe another path is possible. It starts with honest conversation. About how we value work. About how we support men to grieve the loss of certain roles. About how we reframe masculinity not around dominance or toughness, but around care, responsibility, and presence.
Reshaping Identity in Later Life
In my ThriveSpan model, I talk about later life as a time not just of endings, but of reshaping. That applies here too. Identity isn’t fixed. Class, gender, and purpose are all being reworked. We can help people, especially men, imagine a new way of being that doesn’t rely on outdated ideals or lost industries, one rooted in meaning, connection, and self-trust.
An Invitation to Reflect
This isn’t about telling men to talk more or feel more. It’s about creating the spaces where that becomes safe, even possible.
I’m still exploring these ideas. It’s not my main area of focus, but the more I think, research, and reflect, the more it’s come into view. I know this matters, for men, for the people who love them, and for how we shape the stories of ageing, work, and worth in a changing world.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Reflective Questions
- How did work shape the identity of the men in your life: your father, partner, brother, or son?
- What beliefs about masculinity were passed down to you, explicitly or not?
- If traditional work disappears, what else might offer pride, contribution, or a sense of being useful?
- What kinds of spaces are needed to help men reshape their identity in later life?
